his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
