So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
