Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
