What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
