I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
