I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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