I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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