I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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