Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Farmville is her only friend.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
