So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
