he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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