Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
