There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
