All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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