It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
