I faked an abortion last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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