I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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