I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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