i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
