Plan B is the new Plan A
Non-Jews are for practice
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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