I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
