yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I could fuck to npr.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
