3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
