best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize