I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
