I want to make a zoo with you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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