I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize