I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
