Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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