we're chasing vodka with high fives
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
