I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
