The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
