Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
