...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
