1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
