I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the day after is always just damage control
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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