We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
