the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
