they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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