girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
