I didn't shave. On purpose
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
