Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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