I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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