Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
