I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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