weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
