I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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