u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
