Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
