I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
