it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
