therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
