best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
