yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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