I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he thought i was a dude.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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