Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
