ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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