ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
