She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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