I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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