If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
