I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
