the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
