Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
