I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
