So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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