You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
