Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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