if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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