What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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