Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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