just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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