I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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