i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
