Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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