We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
