do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
